Hell
~the place where good intentions go to die~
It’s said ‘the road to hell is paved with good intentions‘, and often it’s used in reference to good intentions that are never backed up by concrete action, resulting in a negative outcome. Over the past few weeks, I have come to see a different perspective on this: hell is the place where good intentions go to die, when all that you have intended for good has been taken and used (or interpreted) for evil.
This ends in a stalemate ‘damned if you do – damned if you don’t’ situation that is not only emotionally draining; it is painful too. What do you do when every effort you make for the good of another is interpreted as a selfish intervention to have things your way? What do you say when every attempt to explain your point of departure is thrown back in your face as you ‘always having to be right’? I’m beginning to think that the answer to those questions is ‘Nothing’. There is nothing you can do or say to convince another of your good intentions, unless and until they are willing to believe that you are after their success. There is nothing you can do about the other person’s perspective.
It’s frustrating and you want to throw your hands up, give up and just walk away from it all. You want to stop giving a damn about how the other person feels and to stop trying. You almost want to show them what that selfish and self-righteous person they imagine you are really looks like. You do none of these things, however, because when you’re being true to yourself -and when you’re not feeling so affronted- you know that you’re coming from a genuine place of love and you can’t just turn it into indifference.
However, you don’t know how much longer you can take being misunderstood. If there is a happy ending to this story, I haven’t found it yet -but I’m still searching for answers. I have a lot of questions about Love and all its enduring qualities described in the Bible (but that is the subject of another day’s post). If I do find the answer, I’ll revisit this post and share it. If you have the answer – I’m listening.
